co parenting jerk
Your Partner Is What âYou Sayâ They Are
“It is the little things that you do that make a big difference in other people’s lives.” ~ Catherine Pulsifer
It’s absolutely true. People see what we “say†about our significant other.
Have you had a friend that told you about the person their dating? They complain to you about their partner’s hygiene, communication skills, problems, and the lack of love in their relationship. Have you ever met that person, after hearing how awful they are? It’s hard not to prejudge them isn’t it? Let’s face it; you only know bad things about that person. It’s easy to have only a negative view of that person.
I have a friend, who after hearing someone rant on and on about the A@%* hole of a boyfriend, deiced to reference her boyfriend as “the A@%* holeâ€. The woman became highly defensive and started arguing with my friend. She said, “How dare you call my boyfriend an A@%* hole! Who do you think you are?†My friend simple replied, “You call him that all the time, how would I know any different.†Embarrassed she turned and walked away.
That woman is just an extreme example of what we sometimes do. I know that I have been guilty of not always saying nice things about my wife to others. My marriage suffered during that time. Now a days you’ll never hear anything bad about my wife.
I know what you’re thinking…know I’m living in a dream world, not living the reality of relationships. True relationships have ups and downs. True my wife is not perfect and I’m definitely not perfect. What I’m writing about is the perception we create with our words. Let me elaborate.
When we say negative things about anyone, it affects our thoughts. Our thoughts determine our world views, our experiences, our memories, and how we live our lives. What we say, we think and what we think, we say. If your thoughts are good toward your partner, your words are good. If your words are good your thoughts are good.
Here’s an example.
My friend Jason from college used to say all kinds of things about his wife. “My wife is the best cook. She can make an apple pie that makes your mouth water. My wife is the best mom. No woman compares to my wife, she’s hot.†where things he would say often. It got to the point that we all thought that she was great. He would brag her up, compliment her, and tell us how wonderful she is. I was single at the time, and I found myself wanting to meet a girl like that. When I finally met her, she was everything he said she was. She was a great cook, best mom, and wonderful wife in my eyes.
The kicker is that I’ve never tasted one of her meals, seen her parenting abilities, or experienced how she treats my friend. I met her once, and in my mind she is everything Jason says she is.
What’s really important is how Jason felt about his wife. He would fall in love with her more and more everyday…because of what he would say. He found new ways to appreciate her, and he looked for new ways to show her.
We are what we say and our spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, life partner, significant other, or whatever you may call each other, are what you say they are. Do yourself a favor, watch what you say about the one you love/care about. You may just get the A@%* hole or you might just get someone wonderful. It’s your choice.
Remember…life is what you make it!
If you enjoyed this article, feel free to visit my blog at http://mydatenightideas.blogspot.com/
About the Author
Another parent ANGRY over the HPV vaccine Gardasil
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