parenting uk
Where in the UK can I get parenting advice for my 8 year old.?
She is as good as gold for her childminder and at school but turns into the child from hell at home, I have tried reward charts grounding, naughty step, taking things away E.T.C but nothing helps, the health visitors seem to lose interest when children turn 5.
I know, you don’t see them for dust once the child is at school. I wonder if she feels overly tired when she comes home and starts to play up. You say she’s at school and at a childminders. It is a long day for children and she may be over stimulated there which leads to tiredness and tantrums at home. Does she go to the childminders after school? If so, is there any way she can have quiet time whilst she is there – a bit of colouring by herself, a nice read or even a short 15 minute nap? If there are a lot of other children or pets or computer games, something like that, she could be getting worn out after being at school all day too.
Maybe if it is not possible at the childminders, could she not have something similar as a routine when she gets home? She could perhaps read to you whilst you’re getting dinner ready. If it becomes part of her routine she may calm down as she will be expecting it.
Perhaps she is vying for your attention and bad attention for being naughty is better than no attention at all. She is not with you all day and then when you come home there are all sorts of other tasks that you have to get on with so she may be feeling left out or ignored and so acts in a naughty way to get some form of attention from you. Why not set aside half an hour as soon as you get in to have a little drink, a cuddle and discuss what she has been up to all day. You could listen intently, nodding at the appropriate points and ask questions. She would revel in the amount of undivided attention you are giving her. I know that there are a hundred and one other things you should be doing but spending half an hour intensively with her each evening will save 3 hours later on telling her off or coaxing her or whatever.
You say that you have tried the naughty step etc. This is a really good idea. The trouble is, as with most things, in order to see any results, you have to really persevere and continue the procedure each and every time you feel an infringement has occurred which is time consuming and boring but the second you think, ‘Oh, I’ll let that go. I really can’t be asked to fight tonight’, all of your previous hard work goes out the window and you have to start all over again.
Perhaps try the above and then revert back to the naughty step if it fails. I am sure the carrot and stick approach definitely does work if you carry on long enough.
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